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Jun. 19th, 2010
I don't know if I've said this here--I know I've said it somewhere, but my brain is really not up to its usual standards today because I'm working off of four hours sleep, a cup of regular coffee and a cup of regular tea that is usually more likely to put me to sleep or make me really hungry than it is to wake me up--but I have a hate/hate relationship with my alarm clock. Well, with any alarm clock. Even when I hear an alarm clock on TV or in a movie, my heart starts beating faster and I feel startled like I do when I'm woken from a deep sleep. I am, embarrassingly, afraid of being woken up by alarm clocks. Heck, I'm afraid of hearing alarm clocks.
If I have to get up early and I set my alarm, I do not sleep. My body jolts itself awake every few minutes just so I can avoid sleeping until the alarm goes off. And even though 99 times out of 100 I will not sleep until it goes off, I am so paranoid I'll oversleep if I don't set it I have to set it anyway. And I don't sleep. It's a vicious circle.
Last night, I finally broke down and downloaded an app so I could use iTunes as my alarm clock. I'd avoided it until now because I have a laptop and I rarely put it to sleep any way other than shutting the lid, but I was so fed up with this issue that I had to try something new. And that something new was waking up to the song "Good Morning, Good Day" from She Loves Me. (Waking up to music doesn't usually help, because it's generally whatever random song happens to be playing on the radio at the time and it startles me just as badly as the cursed buzzing/beeping.)
It worked. It was the most pleasant alarm I've ever woken up to. It even worked through my ear plugs. Unfortunately, my body was still terrified of the idea of an alarm last night, hence the four hours sleep. But now that I know it can be pleasant, even extremely enjoyable, to wake up to such an appropriate song from my favorite musical of all time, I'm going to try to break myself of that fear once and for all. And get on a more reasonable sleep schedule at the same time, hopefully.
If I have to get up early and I set my alarm, I do not sleep. My body jolts itself awake every few minutes just so I can avoid sleeping until the alarm goes off. And even though 99 times out of 100 I will not sleep until it goes off, I am so paranoid I'll oversleep if I don't set it I have to set it anyway. And I don't sleep. It's a vicious circle.
Last night, I finally broke down and downloaded an app so I could use iTunes as my alarm clock. I'd avoided it until now because I have a laptop and I rarely put it to sleep any way other than shutting the lid, but I was so fed up with this issue that I had to try something new. And that something new was waking up to the song "Good Morning, Good Day" from She Loves Me. (Waking up to music doesn't usually help, because it's generally whatever random song happens to be playing on the radio at the time and it startles me just as badly as the cursed buzzing/beeping.)
It worked. It was the most pleasant alarm I've ever woken up to. It even worked through my ear plugs. Unfortunately, my body was still terrified of the idea of an alarm last night, hence the four hours sleep. But now that I know it can be pleasant, even extremely enjoyable, to wake up to such an appropriate song from my favorite musical of all time, I'm going to try to break myself of that fear once and for all. And get on a more reasonable sleep schedule at the same time, hopefully.
