Mini-rant

[hjsnapepm]

You know what bugs me? When someone writes something like 'He ran his hands through his head.' No. Just... no. You can run your hands through your hair, but not your head or your face. Heads and faces are solid. You cannot run your hands through them. It just doesn't work, OK? I wish I could ignore it or not notice it in the first place, but it's one of those things I find completely distracting.

Comments

[missparker.livejournal.com]

aaaaand that's why you need a beta.

[hjsnapepm.livejournal.com]

LOL, yes.

[effronteaumonde.livejournal.com]

I'll do you one better... My friends have convinced me to read the Twilight series, and I shit you not, in one scene Bella is strapped in to a seat and she says that they "unloosened" the harness... unloosened? you mean possibly... tightened? No, they just mean loosened in this case, but I sat there staring at it in total amazement... NO ONE CAUGHT THAT AND IT WENT TO PRINT?! ON A NY TIMES BEST SELLER?! Seriously though, someone needs to get an editor with some kind of skill.

[hjsnapepm.livejournal.com]

Bloody hell... Well, there's another reason for me to never read that series. Why would anyone have even typed 'unloosened' by accident?

[effronteaumonde.livejournal.com]

See, now that is what I was wondering and I've come to only one conclusion. She started with "undo" and someone wanted to change it to "loosened" and they didn't backspace far enough... Or they just really suck at life.

Seriously though, I promised myself I would never read them because of all the horrible things I had heard from within reputable HP fandom (not just people who hate things because they are "kids books" or whatever) and then my real life friends threw a fit because I laughed at them when they encouraged me to read them. Now I've fallen out of favor within my real life friends for the criticism and find myself having to read not just the first one but the whole series and gush about it in order to try to get back in good. The story overall isn't so horrible just all the little details that kind of crack me up.

If you read it like a mocking of bad!fic from ff.net, thinking the whole time that the author intended the hilarity it really isn't all too bad. Sparkling vampires who "dazzle" with anything they do, entirely unintentionally (of course) and an exaggerated Mary Sue character (she's so plain but all the boys want her, she is entirely clumsy so the gorgeous sparkly dazzling vampire has to keep saving her) who is never described in text so that the reader can self insert (this is actually what Stephanie Meyer wrote on her web page, she did it intentionally!!). You would think my friends (all 20 something military wives) would be better than this but alas, you would be wrong!

[hjsnapepm.livejournal.com]

Undo, yes, that must have been it. I hope. Because, seriously, WTF?

I like mocking bad!fic as much as the next person* but I don't know if I have it in me. I'm not much for sparkling characters. XD

*My brother and I stayed up one night during the summer making fun of ff.net summaries on our projector courtesy of Wii internet. My cheeks have never hurt so much. At that point in time, Batman fic summaries were particularly bad. Don't know if they've improved...

[effronteaumonde.livejournal.com]

I was almost about to defend them on a purely bad!fic basis... I've thought better. I will not recommend them to anyone except in jest. I will however be able to talk to my friends again... thank goodness